Heavy Rain
by Anatomic
Summary: "I do not exist to please others. I want to improve myself, so that perhaps the me in the future would have been happy as to what I have amounted to in the past." Through a simple consequence of curiosity, a young Naruto finds a new resolve. With his childish delusions left behind, he works with blood, sweat and tears to amount to not just a notable ninja, but also as an artist.


**Heavy Rain**

**Summary**: "I do not exist to please others. I want to improve myself, so that perhaps the me in the future would have been happy as to what I have amounted to in the past." Through a simple consequence of curiosity, a young Naruto finds a new resolve. With his childish delusions left behind, he works with blood, sweat and tears to amount to not just a notable ninja, but also as an artist.

**AN:** Boring. Will divulge. Will Unravel. Will have action. Will update. When? When convenient.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter I**

"I guess," Naruto spoke hoarsely, "this is my salvation," as he walked away, hair bellowing around his face.

So he'd walked on stronger paths, hopefully not on this brittle road built. In the dreamland he'd always fallen, but never quite off the edge. So he was young and therefore curious and hotheaded. But that will all change soon, without a doubt. In the end, neither destructive Jutsus or deadly weapons had pleased him. His path was shown through sheets of paper, and not what one would expect from one such as the Kyuubi Vessel.

* * *

**Unfolding**

He was six, turning seven in a day and walking along the streets dejectedly, unhappy at the lack of attention; had it not been why he wore such outrageous clothes? He didn't want to be forgotten and he didn't want to be lost. The pressure of memory felt like warm waters turned cold and washing above him; that exhilarating and yet horrifying feeling of losing breath and drowning. And he didn't want that - to fade away. So he had decided to become what he was right now, subconsciously or not. It was only after he found privately-run library that looked relatively new, had he had the audacity to approach it. As he arrived, he was faced with a dauntingly large door for a boy his age, especially at his height.

Swallowing, he slowly reached up, arm delicately extended to the doorknob before twisting it open. When it opened with suspicious ease, cool air flowed through him and his hair and Naruto relaxed ever so slightly. The heatwave that's gotten Konoha by storm as of recently hadn't been lenient on him at all, perhaps even forcing upon harsher punishments for being a child. The air-conditioned hallway made him feel at ease as he traversed the library with open curiosity and perhaps just a bit of carefulness. As soft, artificial winds played around his hair, he looked towards a particularly colourful shelf. When he had arrived, he had an eye on a particularly beautiful book bind however swiftly found out his height wouldn't reach. He scowled softly before going for one that was eye-level to himself.

Gathering up the beautiful and ornate book, he flipped through the pages, feeling like the ever sophisticated adult he wasn't. Minutes passed as his eyes narrowed, trying to interpret the advanced words used effortlessly within the text, or rather, words he couldn't hope to comprehend. His vocabulary was bullshit at best and when he had tried to use words that he thought would make him seem more intelligent, he was made a fool of by not actually knowing the meaning of said word. From those times on, Naruto had just stuck to the basics of what he was sure of - the absolute.

He stared at the book in his hands again, frowning more ferociously and wanting to hopelessly give up. He had a headache that built up from the frustrating gathered at his lack of understanding and the reality that has come crashing down upon him. Naruto stared down at the paragraphs of words and almost cried out in frustration as hot tears formed around his eyes. He brushed them away impatiently, using the sleeves of the jacket around his waste and for good measure, blew his nose as well. The daunting book made its way around his mind again and he stared at it in annoyance. It seemed so easy to give up right now - to walk away. He didn't need to follow the examples of his elders to improve - right? Books were for nerds - and he was super cool. Naruto had the doubt in mind that if he could have understood the text it still probably would have been just as boring as staring at a blank board.

By now, he had pulled out about a dozen books that were all scattered around him, but still in pristine condition as he had handled them with great care. He sighed in exhaustion, eyes red, raw and itching. Scratching at his right eye, he carefully placed the books in what he hoped to be the correct order before lifting himself up and walking out with a slumped back into the night.

Naruto frowned. It had been in the late mornings when he had entered the library, and now the sun was nowhere to be seen. Had he really wasted a hole day within that hellhole? So much time had been wasted - he could have pranked, he could have trained. What wasted time. But yet, although he felt wasted, tired and frustrated, that had not meant he had a bad time. Naruto tilted his head as he trudged up the stairs of his broken apartment and towards his unit. He... had enjoyed it. The time spent within the library.

The blond smiled, although he didn't know what for. His emotions were in a calm turmoil, the ambiguity overthrowing his mind as he debated with his inner self of just how he had enjoyed such an unpleasant waste of time. He hummed to himself, looking down at his toes before slumping on his bed. Perhaps he'd pay another visit to the library again, sometime. And perhaps then he'd also learn how to read.

Feeling his eyelids droop, the Kyuubi vessel yawned once more before falling fast asleep with a smile, happy for his future plans.

Yeah, definitely.

* * *

Naruto trudged and slumped tiredly as he made his way back towards the library, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Not thinking of anything, he pushed the door open before knocking and ran it, body welcoming the coolness of the air-conditioning.

He froze when he heard a stern 'ahem' to his right, to which he turned towards and found a middle aged man looking at him quizzically with one eyebrow raised.

Noticing he had gotten the child's attention, he swallowed in the vain attempt at making his voice legible.

"You know," he said, "It's customary for a person to knock before entering a building, 'specially if it's private residence." He gave the blond child a meaningful and softly stern look.

Naruto gulped as his wide, blue eyes observed the middle aged man before him. He had dark hair and triangular rimmed glasses with brown eyes, although if Naruto looked closer, he would see green tinges in the middle. Overall, he was seemed like an ordinary, forgettable civilian.

Under normal circumstances, Naruto perhaps would have lashed out in brashness, however too much was on the line for even someone who was, as of the moment, as pea brained as himself, to risk. He gulped again, feeling the coldness in the room drop and the goosebumps running along his skin. The silence, accusing.

"S-sorry." He stuttered, and damn did he hate himself for it. For all the little things he owned, pride was a thing that was _his, and his only. _It made him frustrated that he, would have to metaphorically bend over and bow in respect for adults such as the man before him - when in real time, respect should have been earned in the first place. His pride was like a tiger's, but he needed to _know_ things and the curiosity and possibilities and promises that seem to unravel within the books before him seem too tempting of an offer. He didn't know how to read, or write. But he would learn and improve. If only when he had learned the basic theory behind something so simple as taijutsu, then perhaps he would be able to have an easier time at practiced attempts of ninja activities.

Realizing he had been staring at his dirt-worn sneakers, Naruto lifted his head up once more, big eyes inquiring his status within the private library. "I really do mean it sir, 've just come here to learn. Y'see, those pages n' books look real interestin' ta me 'n all i wanna do is learn. Is harmless, ya?"

The librarian still looked skeptical and Naruto couldn't help but groan. He blew it. He fucking blew it with that shitty ass accept of his; so fucking sophisticated. Although, it wasn't his fault at all - language and slang that were thrown around the streets were one of his major sources of education, sadly enough and he had picked up what he was given.

The librarian now raised his eyebrow.

"Is that so?" He ran his eyes down Naruto's body, and the kyuubi vessel stiffened when he felt as if every millimeter of his body was being judged. He stared at the librarian back coolly, but no overly so as to insinuate disrespect or lack of manners. He took another disdainful look at the younger body before turning around to continue shuffling files and signing intricate business deals. "You are excused," he declared snootily."

Naruto nodded before scowling whilst his back was turned, streamlining for the shelf he was occupied with the day before. He instantly reached for the book he had been..._reading_, flipping through pages, trying to take in as much as possible. He couldn't understand anything besides the basics that are used to form a sentence, and more than once in every page he would catch the word blood, and heart. He frowned at the implications of the book, but discarded them from his worries. Blood and hearts. That's important for ninjas. Ninjas did that kind of stuff - killed that kind of stuff daily!

Blood and organs are cool because the ninjas he always saw in posters and that stuff around them...well, the first much more than the latter. He shook his head of the distraction before focusing his eyes once more onto the pristine, clean cut and white pages.

And once again, he jumped and his eyes widened when he heard a voice above him.

"You really can't read, can you, kid." It was worded as a question, but the resounding statement and accusation made Naruto feel ...vulnerable? He didn't like that feeling. It was as if he was worthless, and the incredulity of the librarian's voice had...hurt him? He frowned, his hand moving unconsciously to his chest as he lifted his head to stare into the librarian's eyes in mock questioning, although he doubted the brunette had any idea.

"Why d'you say that, mistuh?"

He shrugged, and for a moment Naruto didn't expect him to answer at all. The middle aged man stayed in silent contemplation as his eyes traveled from the book to Naruto and back.

"Because," he answered and pointed absently towards Naruto's face, "when i watched you read -," Naruto's eyes narrowed, but he ignored it, "your eyes were half unfocused. That usually goes to show either you were extremely bored - which, judging by your persistence, highly doubtful, or you have no comprehension and understanding over the material whatsoever."

At that, he smiled, seemingly amused. His eyes then gained a gleam of interest when he spoke again. "And yet, the other half I saw," he continued, "It seemed that, if given the time, those eyes of yours could unravel the world ."

It took some time to process what the librarian had just said, but when it did, Naruto's head shot up, paying full attention to the older man.

"Th...Thanks, I guess," he stuttered.

The brunette shrugged, hands in his pocket.

"Oh, I wouldn't call that a compliment."

Naruto frowned and his eyebrows knotted together, mostly out of confusion than anything.

"So what was it, then?"

"Oh I don't know. It just is."

And with that ambiguous statement, he walked away; as if the conversation hadn't been brought up in the first place. Naruto harrumphed before digging his nose back into the certain book, feeling an all too familiar headache creep his way.

* * *

Naruto woke up feeling drool on his chin. He tiredly rubbed it off with his sleeve and expected sunlight to blare into his eyes. But that never came. Confused, he looked outside towards the closest window to see that it was still early in the night. He frowned, before noticing the weight upon his legs and looked down to find a stack of books and one particular one opened up upon his lap. Confusion turned into realization as he instantly woke up, shook himself from his tiredness to look around in alarm. He was still in the library?

_'Shit,'_ he thought, '_ I fell asleep...'_

He sighed in residue tiredness before scratching at his itchy eyes. He slowly put back the books he had retrieved. He looked at the assortment, partly annoyed with himself.

Because even through his visits to the library, even with the abundance of books he took out to hopefully attempt to ...feel and comprehend...however there was only one he persisted with, and only one he had ever opened the pages for, and that was the innocent, ornate book within his palms right now. He frowned. It felt alien, however there was an imaginary connection that bound him to it. It felt as if...as, if he had read another book before fully mastering this one, even with his innate literary skills, he would be betraying his pact towards the certain book.

Okay, that sounded like lunacy. He would have to drop a notch of that; people in the village seemed to dislike him enough already and although he didn't exactly like them back, there was no use and positive for giving them yet another reason to shun him within a village that he fully had rights of access to.

He smiled when something shiny caught his eye. Looking around, he tentatively placed it within his baggy black shirt with an orange swirl.

The vessel walked towards the counter, barely surprised that the librarian was still vigilantly stamping, signing and arranging things. He ignored Naruto for a full minute before sighing and putting his things away in resignation. There was, however, a displacement of the compulsive organisation - a scroll, and judging by the waxing, Naruto could tell it was newly created. Perhaps extremely so - maybe even a day, or a few hours ago.

But ignoring the waxing, there was something in the scroll that seemed to both peeve and disturb the librarian at the same time.

Not looking at the blond, he pulled off his glasses and began cleaning it with a specific, small square cloth.

"And what," he began, "do you want now?" Those words were said softly as he put the glasses upon the bridge of his nose.

About to talk, Naruto had suddenly stopped himself. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he tried to piece together a reasonable sentence that wasn't a jumbled mess.

"Can...Can you teach me...how to read?" It was hard to say words as he had done, with all that seriousness and lack of slang but judging by the raised eyebrows of the brunette, he didn't do too bad a job. The half lidded eyes told another story, however.

Ignoring the obvious grammatical fault, the librarian hummed as he crossed his arms, resting his elbows upon the clean and unnaturally organised desk.

"Nope," he stated, making a popping sound with his mouth.

Naruto felt his frustration rise, but tried to reason himself.

"Why not?" He asked, his voice betraying his emotions and his slang returning.

"Sorry to break it to you, but that's business, kid. I can't teach you - heck, probably shouldn't be even allowing you in this place anyway. No, I shouldn't have. Not with your reputation with the civilians."

His tone softened as he stared at Naruto in sympathy. "They really hate you, kid. What had you done to garner such animosity?"

Now, Naruto didn't know what the word 'animosity' had meant, but judging by the tone and...the reference to villagers, it was easy enough to get a clue of what he meant.

Naruto looked uneasy. "Actually, mistuh, I don't know 'bout it m'self." He mumbled, kneading the carpet with his feet.

The librarian placed his face in his hands as he sighed, but before he began talking, Naruto preemptively interrupted the speech as an idea flared within his head. His eyes shot open.

"Wait a sec here, mistuh," the blond pleaded before running back along the racks of books and hazardously pulled out the blue volume. Even in this situation, he smiled bitterly, his heart aching. If what happens next doesn't go as he plans...he looked back at the book...well, he'd have to resort to much worse measures, would he not?

He walked back slowly, as if enjoying his last moments.

He gulped when the librarian looked at him expectantly, although Naruto knew...that he knew where he was going and it all depended on his execution of words - if he was worthy enough to keep perhaps just one book, one memento. He needed it. Deep inside, Naruto knew that he needed it. It was like a second voice - one that held such loathing, such hatred that was harbored within him.

Such power, as if one fragile tilt of the scale would unleash something terrible. All and every one of those insults that bore into him and every negative emotion that seemed to weigh his heart down like a cascading waterfall. Whenever he reached within the darkness, it clung to him and messed with his mind. It was - he was, a monster ... and what scared him the most was not knowing the difference of literally and figuratively. And yet...now it was encouraging him, as if it knew as well, that it was his only source to success - to originality and something...fragile but beautiful.

Oh, so beautiful. Like art on paper; like ink on skin, slippery, instantaneous and permanent. And he wanted it, he yearned it with all his heart.

"May I...," he paused before attempting to confidently continue. "May I...**_'may blood have mercy on the wounded.' _**May I...please have this piece," he begged, however his eyes did not meet the others.

The silence was overwhelming. The librarian just stared at the scroll in front of him.

One.

Two.

Three.

Five.

Eight.

Ten.

Ten minutes had elapsed before Naruto slowly walked through the door and back to his apartment, book clutched possessively between his arm and chest, his head throbbing with an ache of no other. Not the almost pleasant one from attempts at deciphering a book, but sharp piercings and rumbles that shook the foundation and limits of his mind. The deep voice, seething with power and anger and hatred seemed to swirl around him, embracing him within the darkness.

When he reached home, he banged his head upon the wall; breathing haggard breaths as sweat rolled down his temples. So much that his hair had been dampened and his clothes clamped to his skin. He was only seven, blasted world. He felt another dark pulse thrum through him and he wanted to scream. Everything hurt and he clawed desperately at his stomach, drawing blood. He looked at the marking upon his abdomen and was alarmed to find a couple of familiar symbols disappearing. He gulped before rubbing it with his fingers awkwardly.

Not a speck had come off. Scowling and still bent over, Naruto groaned once more as he shivered. The pain seemed to abide slightly actuall-

_** 'May peace wash upon and in divinity.'**_

This time, he let his voice loose. He clutched at the book with his head, his eyes' tears smearing the cover as he shook uncontrollably. It felt as if every cell in his body was being burned alive.

Oh gods.

**_'And if anyone opposes the act, strike them down without shame.'_**

_NO!' _His mind screamed in repetition. He used one hand to claw and push back his hair, and before he knew it, his whole body was covered in three pronged scratch marks. He huffed as his vision blurred.

_**'For you are a hypocrite, as a human.'**_

Oh, by the_ gods._

All he had wanted was to learn.

_**'For war and peace is an act of art.'**_

_**'And art... is To Comfort The Disturbed, **_

_**and to Disturb the Comfortable.'**_

And as the vessel's screams split the night, all else remained silent in the eerie night. And as the symbols slowly faded, Kyuubi Kurama had never felt so much freedom within seven years of confinement.

* * *

**To be continued. **


End file.
